‘I’ for “I Fucking Love Cats!”
- King Alobar
- Chairman Meow
I’m not afraid to wave my freak flag wave on this one. I do, in fact, fucking love cats. I always had a cat of my own growing up, but didn’t for several years during college and my early twenties. I recently adopted two cats, and I think all the intense quarter-life angst of late was in actuality a lack of feline presence.
My cats names are Chairman Meow and King Alobar after the Chinese dictator and the character in Jitterbug Perfume, respectively. Chairman Meow is from the shelter, King Alobar is a feral I took in, and yes I am aware how very un-cool it is to babble on about my kitties (or am I like those celebrities that publish photos of their kids, only I’m trying to impress you with my furry friends?).
But cats are just so wonderful! My theory is we never truly grow out of wanting to snuggle stuffed animals, but our parents take them away from us because who wants a weirdo kid who sucks his thumb and still sleeps with Rosebud the Donkey past the point of “adorable?” But a cat is just like a stuffed animal, only it’s alive! It purrs and has a personality and really does come alive at night, just as I always imagined was the case with my toys and stuffed animals and dolls.
I remember Jessica and I begging our mom to let us get a Puppy Surprise, where the dog comes with any number of puppies inside, you don’t know until you get it home? We were so excited we had “the birth” in the car pulling away from Toys-R-Us, and the stupid thing only had one puppy! One! It was so anticlimactic we weren’t even interested by the time we got home.
But a real animal! A cat kneads on you and plays with strings and curls up with you when you’re feeling ill. They’re low maintenance and proven to be good for your health. And they make excellent writing companions. They’re quiet and calming yet interesting enough to provide much-needed inspiration and procrastination when nothing else will do. Many famous writers have also famously loved cats: Victor Hugo, Charles Dickens, T.S. Eliot, Mark Twain, Edgar Allen Poe, Ernest Hemingway (have I convinced you yet?).
Cats are fucking cool. I fucking love cats.
